Getting Things Underway

These bumper stickers proved the first of many strange duties for Proctor. Cuckler began by having him create an online store for the Globo-Warriors and selling strange merchandise. T-shirts featuring a gory red planet Earth with the phrase, ‘Don’t Let It Happen Here, Globo-Warriors’ Or a poster with a giant fist pounding into the ice caps, the fist labeled ‘Car Exhaust’. All of these strange, mildly threatening products, were sold on the Globo-Warriors website. How Cuckler expected people to know about this stuff and buy it was again through Proctor. He spent his afternoons going on to weblogs and chat rooms, bragging about the products and enticing teenagers to buy them. Proctor would’ve complained about it more, but the second thing Cuckler had done after changing his webmaster duties was give him a raise. The interns became equally involved in the newfound commercial aspects. When they weren’t selling the shirts and posters in the quad at the local college, they were wearing them around other protest rallies. It wasn’t long before members of P.E.T.A. and other groups became interested. Liberal minded students began asking about the Globo-Warriors and how they could get involved with the ‘war effort’ as Cuckler had told the interns to call it. Bordex, the head of the G.W.C.M. and rival global warming firm, had even sent an e-mail to Proctor asking him just what the hell did Hobart and the G.W.D.L. think they were doing. Cuckler, upon being forwarded it, told Proctor to delete it with no reply. Frieda remained unhappy with the changes Cuckler was making but like Proctor she had received both a raise and a decrease in her workload. The interns now fielded calls and stapled reports, leaving Frieda to have a longer lunch break and get off work earlier. Although she may have found reason to complain with the strange checks and budget tweaks that were streaming out of Cuckler’s office, she was suddenly confronted with a much more complicated problem. Cuckler had a thing for Frieda. “I just don’t know how to tactfully tell him I have a boyfriend, y’know? He’s always asking if I want to join him for lunch or meet up with him after work. How many times do I have to say ‘No thanks’ before he gets the hint?” Frieda complained. She and Proctor were chewing on a pizza that had recently arrived. Cuckler had ordered an entire one for himself, which he promptly carried into his office with him while he took an important call. “I don’t know what to tell you. I can’t even imagine eating a meal with that guy. No wonder he’s so big, he eats a ton every day,” Proctor said. “You want to hear something else? The other day, I could hear the T.V. coming out of his office. He was listening to FOX news,” Frieda said.