Proctor and the Boys

Proctor’s first reaction when he came over to the men’s side was to feel out of place. This, in turn, meant he looked out of place. A few glances from the older conservatives made this all the more apparent to Proctor, whose hands shot straight into his pockets and his gaze locked on to the most inconspicuous object he could find: a fishing boat. Before long a waiter offered him a drink, which Proctor immediately took in one gulp then grabbed another, which immediately helped him fit in. He glanced around but could still find no sign of Hobart anywhere. “Hey, so you like the boat?” a voice from behind asked. Collar upturned, plaid pants shining in the sun, stood a tall man with blonde hair. “Oh yeah, she’s a real beauty. Go fishing often?” Proctor stammered. “Not as much as I’d like to. So good to meet another fishing enthusiast. Come introduce yourself…?” Proctor didn’t have time to ask why it’d be hard to find other fishermen at a fishing club, instead saying, “Proctor” and being led towards an even larger group of upturned collars. “Yeah, that one over there is the current girl I’m banging. Model. But did I ever tell you about the time I banged a girl on my Dad’s private fishing boat? Oh yeah. I’m like sixteen and I meet this girl, super hot, said she was a model. So I nailed her on the poop deck, how funny is that?” said one of the upturned collars. For the oddest moment, Proctor was reminded of Bordex bragging about funds he’d raised. But either way, he was in short supply of stories about having sex with models. After a few more minutes of listening, Proctor turned to the guy who’d taken him aside from before. “So, what do you think of this Prop 415 business? Pretty far fetched, huh?” Proctor asked as subtly as possible. The stranger, who’d never told Proctor his own name or introduced him to anyone, blinked and then took a step forward into the circle. “Well, I think Prop 415 is just awesome. We get the environmentalists off our back, we get fuel usage up. I really think this Cuckler guy is doing some amazing things by finally finding a way that these two lobbies can work together. Hell, the money made just by mandatory installations will be enough for plenty of fishing trips.” The model fucker had been de-throned. Proctor wanted to slap himself for bringing up the very thing he was hoping wouldn’t be discussed here. “Oh, those are definitely perks. But it’ll sorta create economic chaos if we start consuming oil that much faster. Even from a financial point of view, won’t that make profits sky rocket then crash?” Proctor said. The man’s face drooped just a little and he stepped back. The space was empty for Proctor to speak now.