Saving the Day

“Is that what’s making you cry so much right now?” Frieda asked. Hobart nodded and she went to get him a glass of water. “It’s a drug that makes you become more open-minded and easy-going. I made it to act as a counter to the drug I’ve been using to think more conservatively,” Hobart explained. He was moving around now, the first effects of the drug melting away as he started to plan how to stop Prop 415. Hobart returned to his office and came back with a pill bottle and an invitation to the Fishing Get-Together. “You mean the drug that turned you into Cuckler?” Proctor asked, starting to get a grasp on a situation that seemed painfully obvious to him now. “Turned me into Cuckler? I mean, whatever you want to call it. The drug has a lot of unfortunate side-effects, one of which made me gain all this weight. I just decided that the best way to inspire a sense of change and fear was to pretend to be someone new,” Hobart said. His voice was starting to become odd again, a slight slur taking it over. “Well, what are you going to do now?” Frieda asked. “I’m gonna sneak into that Fishing Party, slip the liberal pills into something, and get all those guys to realize, y’know, the error of their ways,” Hobart said. The slouch was increasing in arc. He was almost to the door when he realized that Frieda and Proctor were not following him. “That’s, that’s almost as bad as having a ‘No Bloods Rally’, Hobart. Drugging elected officials is a federal offense!” Frieda said. “Hey, hey now. Chill out. I’ve already broken a ton of Federal laws, so what’s one more?” said a very carefree Hobart. “Shit man, half the funding we’ve gotten has been misappropriated. Fucked an intern, lied on pamphlets, there’s even a statue of a boob in the men’s bathroom. What’s dosing a bunch of conservatives with a drug that’ll make them liberal?” Hobart said. He raised his right arm, fist clenched, and marched out the door. Proctor half-tried to stop him, but couldn’t figure out a way to explain how stupid this plan was beyond what had already been noted. Hobart’s car screeched out of the parking lot, honking the horn and waving for them to follow. “I’m not sure who was more insane. Cuckler or Hobart,” Proctor muttered. Frieda nodded and went over to the desk to get her car keys. “C’mon, we’ve got to put a stop to this,” she said.